Onwards to the Battlefront, Sangh Mitron!
Image Courtesy: Countercurrents
[News: “The Army may take six to seven days to prepare for a war, but RSS can put together an army in just three days, if necessary,” says RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat.]
Yes, those days we dreamed of are finally here, the days when 100% pure nationalist Swayamsevaks would crush Pakistan like papad!
We should provide all support to them urgently. All nationalists should urgently come forward to form war assistance committees in all localities.
The war assistance committees are instructed to keep the following in mind:
1. It hasn't been long since the swayamsevaks' uniform has been changed from khaki shorts to khaki pants. All well-wishers should kindly deposit whatever khaki pants that you might have, or those which retired policemen or private security guards around you might have, at the nearest shakha.
2. The work of bullet-proofing lathis – the main weapons – is going on. This is done by dipping the lathis in gau mata fat and drying them in the sun. But this is not likely to be sufficient to meet the weapons requirement. As many gau matas – with horns – as possible should be prepared for battle and brought to the border. If the enemies' bullets reach the vicinity of the cows' horns, the bullets would explode due to the high radioactivity of the horns and fall in Pak territory, or even in Chinese territory. Thus it would be doubly advantageous for us. Moreover, cows being the only animals which exhale oxygen, they would provide the requisite oxygen for swayamsevaks at high altitudes.
3. Plutonium is a crucial raw material for atom bombs. Cow dung being rich in plutonium, all friends of the Sangh are instructed to collect cow dung in plastic covers and to deposit them in the nearest shakhas. In dire circumstances, the cow dung can be thrown into Pak territory, resulting in the enemies burning up.
4. Swayamsevaks will go to the battlefront with nothing other than victory in mind. But in case they are captured by the enemies, there needs to be a strategy for them to escape. All swayamsevaks, therefore, would be provided with a 200-page notebook and a pack of pens. We don't know how many times they will have to write apology. Our role model Savarkar, after all, had written six apology letters.
Onwards to the battlefront, sangh mitron!
Jai Sangh Sena!
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are the author's personal views, and do not necessarily represent the views of Newsclick.
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